Regrets...

My entry today is about regrets...
Almost all of us hv things that we regretted doing in our lives...
Well, me too...

Recently, there r alot of things dat I've done...
And man... I REGRETTED doing 'em sooooo much!!!

The one that I regretted much was making someone's bday turn into a miserable celebration... Haha... Dui... How could I right??? I know dat it aint right... Yea, I know, I know... I shouldnt hv... We were no longer as tight as we used to b like back then... But I dont blame him... My bad actually... Hhuhuhu... Sad right... Besides, I miss making jokes with him... Aish... What u do when u're in a bad mood... Erghh!!! Stupid!!!

Anyhow, I just wish I apologized... Actually I did, but only in messages... Not face 2 face... Aish...

The problem of an egoistic maniac... Damnn... I wish I can turn back time... Truthfully... :(

Sad Dream

Dis morning, I woke up with the urge to cry...
After all this while, I dreamt a lovely dream of him...
When I finally woke up, I spent most of my time rying alone...

**************************************************************

I forgot most parts n only remembered some really warm parts...

A friend of mine (cant figure out who) invited him to our house, there were a lot of people there and actually it was I who asked a favor from dat friend to invite him so dat I can see him in front of me...

I was asking her to help me with so much things dat she finally told me "I can't help u anymore, you should just tell him urself dat u were da one who wanted him to come..." and she said dat in front of him...

In just a split second, he was out of my sight... I remembered dat I was almost crying in my dream... But I can't remember if I actually did...

Then suddenly we arrived somewhere outside a restaurant where another unrecognised friend of mine called me to the restaurant saying there was some kind of emergency...

With a little doubt, I wal towards the restaurant... Inside, one of the tables or table had food on it and guess wat, he, my love was sitting there waiting for me...

Then, I woke up... Hrmmm................... :'(

*********************************************************

How heartbreaking was I when I woke up... I cried bcoz I know dat dat will never happen to me... I know dat he will nvr wait for me... I am the only one waiting for him... Erghhhh!!! The pain!!!

Now, I dont even feel like I'm alive... More precisely, the only thing that I wanted to do right now is to cry my tears dry... How m I suppose to work when my tears keep o n falling??? Right now, I only wanna go home n hug my pillow... Huhuhuhu... :'(

Remembering Past

Oh God... I really nid u rite now...

I know dat ur da only person who nows how I feel at dis exact moment... I really can't cope with dis... I still can't forget him... Gosh... I miss him sooooo much!!!

All I want is to get at least a call or msg from him in this few months & I hope dat I can still see him for the last time once again, even to just bid a formal farewell...

How I miss him hugs, his touch, his smile, his warm voice... I miss how he stays up until early morning just to keep me company while doing assignments even though he's far, far away from me... How I wish the way he cared about me... Mostly I wish calling him syg n him calling me honey...

Argh!!! All dis is really torturing me... Hadoh hadoh!!! I really want to forget him... Badly!!! But I just can't manage to... Benci o... Huhuhuhu... :'(

Just hope dat he is well wherever he is n he knows where to find me if he ever feel like he wants to talk to me... N I hope he does... :'(

Crisis Shield / Crisis Cover

Good Morning Everybody... All r well I suppose...

Anybody sick today??? Better go hv a check up... U might not be in luck... Well, it's not impossible rite... There r way too much type of diseases in this word nowadays... Well, I have a proposition to make today... Here goes... :D

Today's post is about insurance... To b more precised, I will write about health insurance... Okay, lets push aside the medical card for a while... Some people may not b able to afford it... However, here is a plan where everybody can afford it... It is impossible if some people say that they cannot afford this...

People nowadays r slowly picking up critical illnesses... Slowly but surely... Many hv not prepared any funds for this purpose... I mean, funds for medical treatments... However, PruBSN Takaful is here to help... With the minimum premium of RM30 per month, we can help u to save up money so that when u r diagnosed with 1 of the 36 types of critical illnesses, u do not hv to beg for money from the public for ur continuous treatment...



36 Jenis Penyakit Kritikal

01. Serangan Penyakit Jantung
02. Penyakit Koronari Arteri Yang Memerlukan Pembedahan
03. Strok
04. Kanser
05. Kegagalan Ginjal (Buah Pinggang)
06. Penyakit Lumpuh/Paraplegia
07. Pemindahan Organ Utama
08. Sklerosis Pelbagai / Berbilang
09. Hepatitis Virus Fulminan
10. Hipertensi Arteri Pulmonari Utama
11. Koma
12. Buta
13. Penggantian Injap Jantung
14. Pembedahan Aorta
15. Penyakit Alzheimer
16. Hilang Pendengaran / Pekak
17. Hilang Kebolehan Bertutur (Bisu)
18. Kebakaran Parah
19. Penyakit Membawa Maut
20. Aids Akibat Transfusi Darah
21. Penyakit Motor Neuron
22. Penyakit Parkinson
23. Penyakit Hati Yang Kronik
24. Penyakit Peparu Yang Kronik
25. Anemia Aplastik
26. Distrofi Otot
27. Poliomielitis
28. Meningitis Bakteria
29. Tumor Otak Benigna
30. Ensefalitis
31. Full Blown Aids
32. Lain-Lain Penyakit Koronari Arteri Yang Serius
33. Pembedahan Otak
34. Sindrom Apalik
35. Trauma Kepala Utama
36. Kehilangan Tangan Atau Kaki

36 Critical Illnesses



Email me at: layriesa@gmail.com for more informations... Thank you... We offer the benefit... It's ur choice to make... Hv a good day n God bless...

Just a thought... :)

When...
u think dat dis is the best dat could happen to u...
When...
u feel dat dis is the best feeling u ever had...
When...
u feel nobody can do anything to u...
When...
u start to feel hateful towards people talking bout u...
When...
u ignore those who give advices to u for ur own good...
When...
u dare to deny the fault u r at...

Stand up, look around you...!~

Can u see their faces...

The faces of those who used to laugh together with u...

But now no more...

The faces that looked up to u...

But now no more...

The faces... Those cheerful faces...

The faces which used to make ur day...

The faces u left, u stabbed, juz to achieve ur own happiness...

But wait!!! Did u c dat face???

Dat one particular face...

Did u???

Well, dat face didn't look too good to me...

Seems like tears r streaming down dat un-well face...

Hurm... Y is dat???

Lu pikiaq la sendiri!!!

Kinda rude aite, but it had to b done...

Eventho u think dat It is the best thing happening to u...,

But if in order to achieve it, u have to step on some of ur beloved people; ur friends, ur friends' friends, people close to u..., THINK CAREFULLY...

Don't u even mind dat they will b deeply hurt by those things u do???

Don't u mind??? Don't u???

Stop for a while n take a deep breath... How many people will u hurt on ur way up there??? How many dat u dont mind hurting??? Please... THINK!!!

Don't hurt those who trusted u the most... I'm saying diz coz I have felt the pain b4... N I'll hate it if other people felt what I felt... Plis, don't let them cry alone...

Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.
(Luke23:34)

Tension!!!

List tension harini:

1. Thesis
- Tajuk
- RP
- Advisor

2. Kerja
- Quotation bengong
- X pandai cari customer
- X pandai cari agent
- Padahal deadline smua tu dah dekat

3. Personal
- Rindu
- Konpius
- Mati akal
- Emosi x stabil

Ada lagi!!! PTPTN x msk lg la plak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pening!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hari Muda Mudi (Youth Day) ------> St.Peter [BM]

*********************************************************
Tarikh:3rd of Sept 2011

Venue:St. Peter, Ipoh Perak

Masa:9am- 12nn – Games/ Outdoor activities
:7.30pm – 10.30* pm - Konsert

Tema:One Way ; Unity & Evangelist

Objectives:

Appreciation for seniors that will leave
Welcoming the new member
Mengeratkan hubungan sesama muda mudi
Bersekutu di dalam Tuhan
**********************************************************

As seen in the schedule above... The event started in the morning, paused in the afternoon, then start again in the late evening...

Seriously, a tiring day... But somehow, not as tiring as I thought it would be... After the whole episode, there r still some energy left to stay up n chit chat... Hahaha... When it was almost 2am then, I'm able to go to sleep... Guess that's the effect of pumped adrenalin... hahaha... :D

The musicians & leaders were great... They had spent quite a long time to prepare for this event & the result was very fruitful... The youths attending showed that they had a great time worshipping & praising God accompanied by the up-tempo music... Awesome... Most can really feel the presence of the Lord in the church dat day...

The event was fun... We were able to communicate with each other better...

Most important of all, the relationship we had with God r able to b strengthen, especially through the concert... As the saying goes, 'Music brings people together'... :D

Here r some photos... Only photos after the concert... I'll update again later on... :)

*********************Practice Sessions********************





****************After the concert*************************

Ulu Groh Football Tournament (PhOtOs)

Ulu Groh Football Tournament

Hehe... Okay, to start of, during the a-week holiday, we went to our Pastor's vilage which is Ulu Groh in Gopeng...

Well, most importantly, the air there was EXCELLENT!!! Cold n breezy... Fresh, very fresh!!! Ngee...~ :)
That is, if compared to the condition of the air in the city of Ipoh, which is currently very hot n the heat feels prickly... Painful!!!

When we reached there, we got out all of the supply we brought together with us then help the pastor's wife to make Lemang n Tepung Bakar... hehehe... Simple, yet tasty... The making didn't took long, however the burning process took quite a long time... But, it was worth waiting...

After dat we went to take a bath in the river... Wow!!! Refreshing... Hehe... We played in the fast-running water... It was like sliding... But ouch! It hurt... Imagine u slide together with the quick flow of the river, the u ram over a large stone, then u ram over another & another... Hahaha... Painful fun indeed... :D

Later on, the guys went to the football field to build a hut for the girls to set a drink stall n clean the field... N guess wat the girls did... We slept!!! Ahahaha... All the while the guys r working their butts off, we actually slept... Hehehe... Well, we were quite tired doing God knows wat... Adoi... We woke up in the evening juz to eat, actually, some of the girls woke up earlier to help with the cooking, while some others n I woke later... Haha...

At night, we went to the pastor's uncle's house to have a prayer meeting, then we had some snacks there before going back home to chit-a-chat then sleep... ZzzZzzZzzz

Oh yeah, before sleeping, I actually lead the Merdeka cheer..., which was answered by 2 people, I think... Hahha... Sad... So sad... Ahahahha!!! :P Anyway, m glad for the independence of our country...

*************************************************************************************

The next day, the football tournament... We had the guys from menglembu to join us...
They r also playing la...

B4 the game, we girls planned to go to the market to buy some raw meat... The actual plan was to go at 6am but we ended up going at 7am... HAhaha... Actualle, I as the driver, is a little creeped out at the thinking of having to drive in the dark through the rocky road, the oil palm estate... N dat is, after listening to soe spooky stories from the villagers, namely the pastor's eldest son... hahaha... Adei... I'll admit, I really am a scaredy-cat...

The football tournament started at about 11am... the game rule is Kalah-Mati, which means Lose-Die... Hahahha... It's actually, when u lose, ur game ends there... Fullstop... We had registered 2 teams... Team SPCA & SPCB... Team SPCA died in their 3rd match while team SPCB died in their 1st... Haha... U get wat I'm saying rite??? :)

We stayed until Team SPCA loses their game which was at about 3 or 4 o'clock... Then guess wat... We went straight to the river,.. Ahahaha!!! It was sooooooooo refreshing after being in the muddy field... Hehe... Felt like not wanting to get out of there, but just had to... Hadui...

After cleaning ourselves properly n wearing less dirty clothes, we were invited to go visit houses during the celebration of the Merdeka Day of Malaysia... We were sooooo full... OMG!!! The first house was just opposite the house we were staying in... The 2nd was further, much further... We drove half-way then walked the other half... Hahah... Night exercise... It was fun coz we did it together... Almost 20 of us then...

We went back home early the next day... Hehe... It was really fun!!! :D

Thank you God for everything that You had given to us... All the fun, all the things we'd seen n experience, all because of You... :D

I'll post the photos in the next post... Bubye... GBU all... :)

Raya Holiday

Hi guys... How r u doing???
Hehhee... So I've been joining in some fun activities this raya holiday...
SO, b ready all coz I'm going to post quite a number on posts today... Hehhehee...
Starting with dis one...

Em... Yea, b4 I forgot what I've been forgettin all dis while, here goes...

I would like to wish hepi Eid to all of my celebrating friends...
Er, actually, to b exact, it's hepi BELATED Eid... hehe... :)

LTNS

LTNS = Long Time No See

Hehehe... It's been a while since my last post...
Hv bn doing so many things dat I neglected writing...
BooHoo...~

So, been doing my practical for almost a month now...
Got some quite tricky tasks from the boss...
On the other hand, we also had to complete our Research Proposal...
Ergh... Quite hard when the topics u suggested r rejected again n again...
Now I'm suffering from 'dead mind' a.k.a Mati Akal... Haha... :D

N now, I'm stuck in the middle of completing the tasks n my thesis...
God help me...

Busy Bee

Aigoo!!! Getting busier n busier by the day...
More n more work are charging towards me...
Getting so afraid now... Hahah...

Well, there's dis one event, where Im the project manager... Hehhe... Me, the PROJECT MANAGER... Dui... Sounds funny coz Im the PROJECT MANAGER... Kahkahkah... Can I really manage an event??? Im doubting n not doubting myself, both at the same time... This cause me to get even more confused... Weird rite... Hahhaa... :D

With so many things like, "Grooming n Etiquette" event, assignments, presentations, tests, quizzes, and final examinations just rite around the corner, Im really getting the sense of nervousness, curiousness, afraid-ness, buzy-ness, and all the other -nesses out there... Ahahhaa... HELP!!!

Now, really am relying on GOD to continuously gv me strength, power, energy and such to help me get thru the days... I really nid it...

Oh yeah... And to my friens out there, I nid supports... Hehehe... It is enuf dat nobody gets on my nerve and spoil my days... Juz go with the flow and correct me when I'm wrong, but dont, N I mean DONT try to control me... THX!!! MWAH!!! <3

Kuih Talam

Lolz!!! Im not writing bout food okay...
Juz wanna talk bout some 'muka talam' or tray face...
Hehehe... I LOVE direct translations... :P
K, muka talam refers to hypocrites...

I dont know, some ppl juzt LOVE to blame others juz so that they can make some stories more interesting... For instance, u left ur homework at home n u hv to pass it up. But instead, u tell the teacher that ur friend was hurrying u 2 pack fast that u forgot to pick it up... C, blaming others... Dui... Pathetic...!

Where was I going??? K, hehe... Now, the story...

It's about our church, our time, our responsibility, our sacrifice...

As for myself, I sacrifice a lot just to make it to church...
In order to b able to attend the service on Sunday, I pack up all my things including my homework, so dat I can complete them in Ipoh, where we hv a home there, so dat i CAN SAVE TIME... Well, it's about the QUALITY OF TIME rite... Ergh! So now, many hv done the way I'm doing it, so, they dont really face much problem...

Well now, there's a girl rite, much like a control freak... She refuses to go to church just bcoz of us, US! Coz we take much too much time to rest, to pack, to clean, to go back... Lol!!! She don't even know wat we do, the day b4 dat dat makes us so tired n need rests, but she can still take some time to criticize...

I wonder if she's in our shoes, how would she feel... Having to drive back n forth, back n forth, back n forth the whole day n there she stands and DEMANDING US to increase our pace... Grrr!!!

She's so DAMN WEIRD!!! Wat the FUCK r u doing checking out restaurants for their kitchen's cleanliness??? Nx time juz cook at home la, no nid to eat out... Ur so annoying... DO U EVEN KNOW DAT, MS ANN??? Juz remember dis... The next smile I'll gv to u starting from today onwards will b either accidentally or fake... Thanks coz u've showed so many of us ur true nature... Thx for helping to change our perception abt u... THANK YOU!!!

Sleeq - Cun Saja (Music Video)

Lirik Lagu Cun Saja - Sleeq

Chorus:-
Lagu ini bukan di radio setiap hari untukmu
Lagu ini tidak perlu kau kembali kepadaku
Lagu ini hanya ingin kau fahami ku sudah teruskan hidupku
Semuanya cun saja

Tak perlu tinggalkan pesanan
Tak perlu buat panggilan
Ku tak perlu lagi kalau kau cuba mintak maaf
Lupakan sahaja
Diriku cun saja

Duduk di rumah seorang saja
Menulis lagu cinta
Menggunakan kisah ini tuk ceritakan

-Chorus-

Alyph:
Cun hidupku kini cun saja
Sejak kita memang cun semuanya
Sejak pisah itulah permulaannya untukku berhati-hati dgn buaya
Ngap ngap pendirianku tegap
Jumlah kali kita bertengkar memang genap
Untuk aku ke tahap ini silap kita memang patut sama-sama kene sepak pak pak
Tapi bukan niat aku tuk salahkan dirimu
Aku sedar ku juga ada kekuranganku
Tapi kalau bersifat mementingkan diri sendiri untuk kebaikkan bukan kurang ajar itu

Duduk di rumah seorang saja
Mengarang lagu cinta
Dengan mengembalikan kisah kitakan tapi jangan perasaan
Ohh..

Walaupun ini bab yang baru ada masa arah ku tak tentu
Tetap rindu kehadiranmu, tidak patut
Kerna ku takut

-CHORUS-

Lagu ini,
Tandanya kamu masih sayangkan ku
Walaupun sudah tidak bersama lagi

Lagu ini,
Tandanya ku masih rindukanmu
Walaupun sudah tidak bersama lagi

Lagu ini,
Dengan lagu ini ku ingin memberitahu kamu bahawaku okay
Aku okay

Lagu ini,
Dengan lagu ini ku ingin memberitahu kamu jangan cakap tak boleh

-CHORUS-

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Let Go

The latest adapted from Old Blog, 12 Jan 2011
*************************************************



Letting it all go is not easy
Many sacrifices need to be made
Hurting ownself is a way to go
Although it's better to love than to hate

The pain of letting go is indescribable
No word can really explain
The tears pouring down are uncountable
The result of heart tearing pain



The best remedy to cure a broken heart
To spend time laughing and cheering
Not to be alone and sulking
But to be on your feet and running

A heart so gentle and warm
Keep it away from sharp daggers
The heart so loving and tender
Deserves to be treated better

...

Adapted from Old Blog, Nov 2009
********************************************

This is my story once upon a time
When I was young and love was blind
I fell for every boy I saw
I fell straight into the monster's claw

Felt like it's the end of life
When rejected and kicked aside
Became a huge mess hard to clean
Own fault for being so mean

Nobody likes any boyish girls
But girly acts make me wanna hurl
Others say I need to clean up my act
I say I don't give a fuck bout that

Felt so fucked up bout being dissed
Felt so angry bout being pissed
So very frustrated that Im lonely
Afraid Im left with nobody...

Tribute to YOU

From Old Blog (Sept, 2009)
*********************************************



Sometimes I feel so hurt
Feeling so bad I couldnt cope
Not knowing who to turn to
Feeling so lost without hope

That's when i think of you
About all the things you give
All the love you provide
The moments You make me happy

Im so very ashamed of myself
To forget you when Im full of glow
Then only to remember you
Each time I am filled with sorrow

No matter how many times
I have turned my back on you
You never leave my side
Never fail when I need you

Though I often let you down
You never lift your foot and turn around
Whenever I fell hard on the ground
You pick me up and take away my frown

You bring along a funny clown
To cheer me up every time Im down
Your Love so many I have lost count
You really deserve to wear the Holy crown

Riot Poem

Sometimes you feel down
When the dark cloud comes around
Making you feel blue
When others look down on you

Trying so hard to understand
What they want and their demands
Trying to make them realize
I’m not going to wear any disguise

I am what I am
I never want to change
What you see is what u get
And I will not regret
I don’t care if you’re not happy
That’s because you don’t know me
Just shut up, stop judging me
Leave me alone, just let me be

Don’t try to act like a boss
Never treat me as a clown
I have my own pride
I am going to wear that crown

I stand for my belief
I fight for my right
Not going to give up easily
So you better go take a hike

I am what I am
I never want to change
What you see is what u get
And I will not regret
I don’t care if you’re not happy
That’s because you don’t know me
Just shut up, stop judging me
Leave me alone, just let me be



Taken from old blog, June 2009

Have You Ever Wonder

*******************************************

Have you ever wonder
How friends turn to foes
When at an unsuspecting time
Everything turns out blur

Have you ever wonder
How some plans backfire
When you’ve put in efforts
Hoping the result gets better

It is really strange
To see people change
Without a prior notice
Becomes a sudden egoist
It seems like people
Are starting a trend
To start out friendly
Then ends up as a fiend

Have you ever wonder
How much a small word hurts
Stabs you like a dagger
In your little fragile heart

Have you ever wonder
How fast time flies
When you’re enjoying yourself
Treating yourself to white lies

It is really strange
To see people change
Without a prior notice
Becomes a sudden egoist
It seems like people
Are starting a trend
To start out friendly
Then ends up as a fiend

*************** Copied From Old Blog *************

Some Story

**********************************************

It makes me wonder
How u walk around town
Proudly and bitchy-ly
But still wearing the crown

How do u afford all those
Being admired and rejoiced
By them all around u
And still being so poised

I used to spend my times thinking
How I could possibly keep it in
Keep my angst to myself
A feeling of disgust and envy

Our personality's far different
Your not like me, and Im not like you
But somehow I often wonder
How did I obtain a friend like you

Sometimes u piss me off
Sometimes u give me migrains
Sometimes I feel like murdering u
But sometimes, Im glad we're friends

*************** Source : Old Blog ***************

For A Special Friend

Have you ever wonder
Why the sky is so blue
Why the grass is so green
Why am I friends with you

Have you ever wonder
Why the sea is so wide
Why the fish dont fly
Why I call you at night

Have you ever wonder
Why the birds fly up high
Why the cats chasing mice
Why I am sad when you cry

If ur still wondering why,
Just stare at the fish in the sea
Stare clearly into the sky,
And ull understand y u mean so much to me

Ur smile chase away my frown
Ur voice cools my anger down
Ur eyes makes my problems turn around
Ur always picking me up when Im down

Source : Old blog (June 2009)

Beginning (New Chapter)

With red hair, walking confidently.
Ignoring staring eyes, minding own business.
Im back on my feet and on the ground.
Leaving behind the once Damsel in Distress.

Trying to act normal, strut down the lane.
A smile on my lips, eyes shining and gleaming.
Cover all the darkness and hurting pain.
Bury all those damn, fucking feeling.

Opening a new chapter in life, ending the past.
Changing once again, starting a new beginning.
Takes time, rather slowly but very surely.
Open a new book, throw the dusty, old thing.

Gotta learn to live independently again.
With loving family and caring friends.
Not every girl needs by her side a man.
That will only contribute to unwelcomed pain.

Now full of confident, moving fast forward.
Carefull not to be left far behind.
Thrive to achieve the full satisfaction.
The once thrown away, I'll stop to find.

Will not gonna give up, no way, not now.
I'll be back, just wait for me Dear.
Be much stronger than ever, not gonna dissapoint.
Stand on my own, leave behind all those stupid fears.

The life chapter is starting yet once again.
The past will be the hurtful ending.
Conquer all the fears and all the shame.
Three cheers for the new beginning!!!

Source : From my old blog... :D

Hye!!!

Hehee... Alas!!!
I've finally created my 2nd BlOg...
My 1st blog was too 'erm' to b publicised, so I created a new one so I can share it with others...
To b frank, I don't write stories much...
I prefer to just play with the words...
Make them rhyme... Hehe...
Just like making song lyrics...
But I cant really turn them into songs... Haha... :D
So, here's three cheers for my new blog, which, will b less gloomy than the other one... Ngee...~
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! :)